Poem: I Am Sitting in The Mountains

I am sitting in the mountains
And the cold, clear winds
The cold, clear winds
Whisper to me
Whisper to me

Stay awake.

The sun does its procession
From day to night
From night to day

And with each passing second
The earth moves on its orbit -
Into a new part of the galaxy
Into a new part of the universe
Never seen before.

We think
It is all repetition
Redundancy
Because there is a certain cyclical pattern that surrounds us
Thousands of years old.

But at the higher elevation – you start to see
The pattern just gives a sense of stability

While the galaxy moves into a different part of the universe
The earth moves into a different part of the galaxy

And we believe in the illusion of routine
That we are not affected.

But we are.
We are.
We deeply and profoundly
Are.

I weep for what is passing
For it is all the comfort I know.

But here in the mountains
With the cold, clear winds keeping me awake
I see

We are on a great journey into the Unknown

And the essence of that journey
Has always been
And shall always be
The ever more refined and beautiful expression
Of Love.
Of Thee.

I am singing a song to comfort myself
When there is nothing outside to give me comfort

Yet, the mountains are singing with me
And the wind and the sun
And the earth and the galaxy
And the Universe

And I wonder

What in the world, oh God of mine,
Do you have planned for me
Next?

Mirror

A father’s eyes are the first mirror that a woman knows.

The eyes of her beloved are the second.

Every other mirror in a woman’s life is for her to pre-measure herself and assess what she will look like in those sets of eyes. Correcting something. Hiding something. Enhancing something. Because the mirror on the wall is not conscious, not sentient. It is safe and lifeless, without comment, a mute reflection for critical self-examination, to help her prepare for the moment when she presents herself before the mirrors that matter most.

The eyes that frown or smile or look disappointed and dismissive. The eyes that love, with affection, projecting pride and fierce protection. The way she is reflected in the face of her father and the face of her beloved gives her a sense of who she is in the world.

One day when I was a young girl, my father (who tended to be a stern and demanding type, intimidating but with a heart of gold) sat with me on the front porch. It was a priceless moment, just the two of us, and he was in a rare contemplative mood. We cozied together on the bench, his arm around me, watching a small spider slowly and steadfastly make its way up a tiny silk thread. The thread was suspended from the porch ceiling. After watching the spider in silence for a while, my father finally spoke. “Do you think it knows?” he wondered out-loud. “Do you think that spider actually knows where it’s going?” And then he started rambling, about how could the spider know where it was going? Yet there it was making all that effort to create the thread and climb it, without any certainty of what it would find at the end. His words made me feel both close to him and uncomfortable. My father always knew the answers to everything (or at least pretended he did), and here he was, not knowing something. But in that moment on the porch, watching the spider, I felt that he was sharing something special with me. Some part of him that was always there, but that he kept hidden below the surface.

Men are hard to understand. And the good ones are the hardest. On the surface, there is this hard-boiled attitude that comes from having to find and hold your place, defend your territory, maintain your position. There is also the urge to keep exploring and expanding, seeing what’s out there, what’s new. And then the need to have some kind of home base he can always come back to. It’s not just the hunt that’s important. It’s having people who love him. People who will listen to the story of how he caught the “big one” or how the sucker got away.

When I was a young girl, my dad traveled all over the world for business. Some of the best memories of my childhood were when he came home, and he would tell us the stories of where he’d been. Meeting the Prime Minister of Brazil or having lunch with Prince Edwards and Princess Grace after closing a sale of television equipment for Monaco TV. Stories of how he and his team figured out how to break through the outer citadel of low-level executives to finally get a meeting with the high-level ones in Japan. (Long before there were any classes in business school about how to do it.) Hong Kong and England; France, Germany, Belguim. Other countries whose names I couldn’t remember. Some of those stories were dark. Watching people demonstrate on the street, being massacred by their governments, and no mention of it on the local news that night. Being in Central America when the President of the US passed some policy that caused mob rioting in the streets. My dad and his team faked English accents to get out of the country in one piece. Stories of the world, and my dad would often say, “Every time I land in the USA and get out of the airplane, I want to kiss the ground. You have no idea how good we have it here.”

When I was in the 8th grade, he finally let me look through his passport. And I thought to myself – how cool it would be to go to all of these places one day.

He worked really hard, and provided for his family. The main thing that he asked in return was that we would be a good audience when he wanted to tell his stories, or that we would listen when he wanted to share his advice.

“Never turn down someone’s advice,” he used to say. “It’s the only thing in life that’s free. Everything else in life costs you something. Experience is a bitch. It gives you the test before it gives you the lesson.”

But even though that outer world of a man is important, his achievements define his identity in so many ways, there is still something subtle and sensitive and deep going on underneath. It never comes out directly. If you try to get him to show it to you, he never will. But sometimes, if you watch carefully, it comes out sideways. In completely unpredictable moments. A deep questioning and probing into the nature of life. Not just trying to find his place in society, but his place in the Universe.

It was in those sideway moments that my father and I connected the most.

I think the concept of God must be very difficult for a man because it means there is permanently something higher than himself. He can never ever get to the top of the totem pole if he truly believes in God. The gift of faith is a sense of humility. A respect that there are certain rules you have to play by if you want to win the Big Game. My dad played by those rules, but he sometimes wondered if it was real. “There better be a God when I die,” he would fume from time to time. “Because if there’s not, I am going to be really pissed.”

“Don’t worry,” I would say to him. “There’s a God.”

Last Christmas, while driving around together, he started talking to me about friends and peers that he’d seen die of cancer. How quickly it could happen – one day they were there, the next day they were gone. He was talking to himself as much as to me, but then he shot me a measured look. “There’s something after this, right? ” he asked. “Yes, Dad,” I assured him. “There is definitely something after this.”

Mirrors. Reflections. It’s the hardest thing. In high school the big fights between my father and I started. Looking back, the fights really had less to do with us as people and more to do with the profound social changes that had happened between the time my mother was in high school and when I went. In my mother’s day, you either trained to be a teacher or a nurse; or you got married. That was it. When I went to high school, the sky was the limit. So the fights began because my father wanted me to take classes that would prepare me for my future. Only he was stuck in a very old idea of what the future could be. “Why are you taking chemistry, physics, and calculus?” he would yell. “You should be taking typing and short-hand instead so you can get a job as a secretary when you graduate!” When I wanted to study Latin, he said no way. “You study French. Latin is for boys - boys who are studying to be priests. It’s a dead language. Learn how to speak French – that’s a good language for girls.” I hated French.

When it came to college, he summed it up perfectly when he once said, “Bernadette and I fought World Wars 3, 4 5 and 6 over her going to college.” It was an accurate description. For months, we couldn’t be in the same room without their being either a thick tension or an outright shouting match. And with my father, the ex-marine, those shouting matches could become very intense. I was a straight A student, graduating in the top 5 of my class. I had been accepted to a prestigious Texas college – Rice University. I was going to college, and that is where I was going. Whether he liked it or not. Whether he would pay for it or not – that’s what I was going to do. In the end, my mother quietly intervened on my side, seeing that the fight could have torn us all apart. So I got my way. But not without scars.

When I was 20, and home for the summer, there was a Newsweek article about the top universities in the country. Rice University was listed as one of them, and described as one of the best colleges for the money. I’d made the honor roll every semester. One Friday night, my dad picked me up from the restaurant where I was waitressing as a summer job. He had a few at the bar before closing, and when we got back to the house somehow it ended up being the two of us alone. We sat in the kitchen, talking. He was a little bit tipsy. I can’t remember all of his rambling, but at one point he stopped and looked me square in the eyes. “You know,” he said his eyes hard and bright. “All those fights we had about you going to college. I just want you to know. You were right.”

The eyes of a father teach a girl about herself. It’s the first impression she has of what about her is acceptable or not. What about her is loveable or not. At least, that’s how I experienced it. In the end, I think the deeper truth is that many fathers deeply love their daughters no matter what. But loving a daughter doesn’t mean that he is necessarily comfortable with her all the time. Some moments, perhaps, are more comfortable than others. As a child, you think – he’s angry. There’s something wrong with me that I have to change or I have to fix. It’s only when you get much older that you start to see- the situation is just a lot more complicated than that.

The day before my father died, he asked to see a priest. It had been many years since he had gone to church, but that’s the way it is with Catholics. If you’re born with it, and raised with it, there is a primal longing to die with it. My father had recently been diagnosed with cancer, himself, and was deteriorating at a very rapid pace. He couldn’t lift his head or roll himself on the bed. The nurses had to do it for him. After the priest left, I went into his hospital room and held his hand. We did a lot of that the last week of his life. Hand holding. He would grab it and not let go.

“Did you talk to him? Did you, your mother and your sister get to talk to the priest?”

“No,” I said. “He said only a few words to us and left.”

“That’s a shame. I liked him. You would have liked talking to him.”

He paused for a few moments. “No one really knows what happens when you die,” he said. “You can’t know. You just take the cards you’re dealt in life and you play the best hand you can.”

Tears started to cloud my eyes. “Well, I think you played your hand great, Dad.”

He laughed a weak laugh. “I don’t know about that, Bernadette,” he said. “But I’ll tell you this much. It’s been a hell of a ride.”

He stopped talking, and I stood there next to him, his hand in mine, crying quietly, my heart saying over and over again, “I am going to miss you so much when you are gone. I am going to miss you so much.”

We transferred him to hospice that day, and early the next morning, he took a turn for the worse. During the last few hours, his eyes were rolled up in his head – like the way the yogis look when they are focusing on the 10th gate. His breath was hard, and deep and long, like he was in labor, and I was struck with how similar the physical process of birth and death can be. My mom and I were sitting on opposite sides of him, whispering to him and helping him along. At one point, I don’t know why, but I said matter-of-factly, “It’s OK. You can go if you need to go.”

For the first time all morning, he rolled his eyes down and sideways and looked directly at me. It was so odd. His blue eyes had gone grey and filmy. You could see the soul light in them – but it was already so distant, so far away. It was a look that was completely piercing and penetrating, and yet – it almost wasn’t there at all. Pure spirit - his spirit to mine with nothing in between. And I could tell that what I was saying in that moment was really really important to him.

I knew what I needed to do. I smiled a big smile, tried to look as secure and relaxed as possible, and encouraged him. “It’s OK. You can go. We’re going to be fine. Don’t worry. You can go if it’s time for you to go. You’re going on a great adventure.”

After smiling and cheering him on for a minute or so, he sighed, and his eyes rolled back in his head, looking at the tenth gate. Something in him relaxed. I kept praying softly in his ear. Within a couple of minutes he was gone.

Identity and reality. What we know, what we guess, what we don’t know. The way that we are here for each other regardless of the details. The last time that I looked in my father’s eyes, there was something pure and naked, powerful and innocent. It was a gift to see his soul like that, and to realize that all along, throughout our lives, his soul was always struggling to be seen by me, just as my soul was always struggling to be seen by him. If it took the moment of death for our spirits to achieve that communion, then I feel we were very blessed. The mirror and reflection between us, by Guru’s grace, arrived at that Infinite point.

After all, nothing ever ends. The connections we have with each other keep going, evolving, transforming, and growing. About 5 minutes after he died, I felt his subtle body pull me into a hug, saying thank you for helping me through.

In the days and weeks since my father passed away, I have been missing his presence. Once I was grown up and on my own, we only saw each other once a year, and spoke on the phone once a month. I never knew that there was some part of me, deep in my subconscious, that was always connected to him. Now that his physical body is gone, that reassuring connection is gone, too. But it doesn’t leave me empty. In place of the connection is a plethora of memories that reveal new secrets the more of life I understand. The mirror of him is still in my mind. And I am so grateful to have experienced, at the end, how the love overwhelmed everything else, and cast a golden light over all of the memories that I hold of him forever.

In memoriam: James Anthony Gillece. January 19, 1938 – September 2, 2009.

Your loving daughter,

Ek Ong Kaar Kaur aka Bernadette

A Little Note on Peace

Sat Nam.

During Peace Prayer Day at Summer Solstice this year in Espanola, NM, it was my blessing to be part of an Interfaith panel talking about peace. Each of us on the panel had five minutes to share our perspective on the subject. Today, I am grateful to share this brief little vignette that I wrote for the panel. Hope you enjoy. May peace take root in your own heart and blossom forever.

Peace Prayer Day, Ram Das Puri, New Mexico: June 20, 2009

The problem of war comes from the animal instinct of a person. When we live solely in a territorial way, when we want to establish our status, then we are constantly hustling and hassling to get something outside of ourselves. It comes from a sense of survival. That sense of survival breeds in us a deep insecurity.

All wars begin from this root. Of territory, of desiring something – and then they are sustained through pain and vengeance – the need for retaliation, the animal instinct to re-establish dominance. This cycle of violence has been going on for thousands of years on our planet. And despite all of the churches and synagogues and temples in the world, we have not found a way to come out of it.

The reason we haven’t come out of it is because we haven’t committed ourselves fully to our human identity and our human nature. Yogi Bhajan once said that God gave the gift of intuition to the human as our mode of survival. If our third eye is open, if our arcline is active – or we can say in modern terms – if the central brain is developed and the electro-magnetic pulse of the brain is emitting at the frequency of the totality of the hemispheres – then we will know in advance what to do to secure our future. Rather than looking around to see what we can get from outside of ourselves, we will look within and be intuitively guided to our best and highest destiny. Through that inner guidance, we will not only survive – we will prosper and bloom, and that security within us will give way to peace.

In the Kundalini Yoga and Sikh tradition, the way to develop the arcline is by consciously vibrating sacred sounds that focus the mind on the Creator, and on the Light of God within each person. It is a simple and powerful act. Rather than having the mind create schemes or worry about the future, the trick is to discipline the mind to just focus on the Divine. If that focus is sincerely and lovingly there, then you shall be guided from the inside to where your security lives; and what you need will be brought forward to you. This is the promise of being a human being. It is a totally different mentality than living as an animal. The key to elevating ourselves from our animal nature to the human vibration is through prayer.

Once that prayer is real, the security gets established and peace comes.

I would like to close by sharing a passage with you from a prayer called “The Jewel of Peace,” written by the fifth Sikh Guru, Guru Arjan, who lived in the 16-17th century:


"If for one single moment, you sing in a sacred way from the depth of your being about the virtues of the Divine, you will gain access to all of the etheric realms, and absolute emancipation and liberation will come to you.

"When you focus you mind on talking about the Divine Spirit that holds and is contained in all things, so many empires will be established and spread.

"When you use your tongue to continually recite with love about the Divine in your own heartbeat, so much food, so many clothes and such good company comes to you.

"When the prayer of the perfect Teacher makes its home in your heart, then your actions become noble, creating prosperity and splendor.

"Oh Divine Master, please give me the gift of living in the community of those people who pray this way. Then, oh Nanak, peace will blossom forever."

Guru Arjan Dev Ji, Sukhmani Sahib, 20th Ashtapadi, Verse 8

Proposition 8, Gay Marriage and the Sikh faith

(Please note: the opinions expressed in this essay are strictly the personal views of the author and do not in any way reflect upon the ministry of Sikh Dharma International)

Last week, the California State Supreme Court upheld a voter amendment, Proposition 8, which banned same-sex unions in the state. Ever since the amendment was passed by voters last November, there has been a lot of discussion about protecting the idea of traditional marriage versus the US Constitution’s promise of equal rights for all people under the law. For the most part, when this issue of gay marriage has come up in my presence, I have kept relatively quiet – partly because I haven’t wanted to “out” myself. In my early 20’s, I was a partner in a non-traditional marriage. My live-in boyfriend turned husband was bi-sexual. We had an agreement that he was free to explore his bi-sexuality within the confines of our relationship, as long as he told me where he was and what time he would be home. Naturally, out of courtesy, the agreement extended both ways. During that period of my life, I was blessed to be part of a wonderful gay and bi-sexual community. I wanted to fit in and belong. Yet I discovered that, basically, I was straight and instinctively monogamous. So the agreement was theoretical on my side. We lived together in this non-traditional way for 3 years before deciding to get married, and during that time, I did my best to support his process of understanding his own sexual identity.

Looking back, perhaps it was inevitable that the relationship would fail. Nine months after we got non-traditionally married, we went through a very traditional divorce. Not too long after, he met a woman from California who was bi-sexual for real and they have been in a non-traditional, open relationship ever since. He has sworn that I was his first and last foray into the realm of marriage. We loved each other then and still care deeply about each other now. How many people can say that their former husband sent them a beautiful gift on what would have been their ten-year anniversary? Yet, he did just that. My relationship with this man taught me a great lesson: that just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean you will spend the rest of your life with that person.

So when people ask me: Do you support gay marriage? the first question that comes to my mind is, “What type of marriage are you talking about?” One of the fundamental issues in this discussion is whether or not the institution of marriage is an appropriate vehicle for non-traditional relationships.


Thorny and Complicated Issue

The reason this issue becomes so difficult to unravel is that there are two distinct and separate aspects to the institution of marriage. One aspect is related to property, taxes, inheritance, and protecting children who are born or adopted by a couple. This aspect of marriage is governed by state and federal law. The courts are being asked to decide to whom those laws apply. The US Constitution guarantees equal rights for all people. Logically speaking, it is not such a big leap to see that “equality” means everyone – gay, straight, bi, whoever. People who decide to be together as a couple ideally would be treated equally under the law regardless of gender.

It is the second aspect of the institution of marriage that is making all of this much more difficult. The second aspect is spiritual. Unless someone is atheist or agnostic, marriage involves the blessing of the union by a Higher Power. For many people, what defines marriage is a spiritual and religious issue, not simply a legal one. What is the meaning of marriage? What is its purpose? What moral and spiritual duties and responsibilities do partners have towards one another when they are married?

Because of the separation of church and state in the US Constitution, the spiritual aspect of marriage is under the domain of the respective congregations and spiritual communities in this country. The US Bill of Rights promises freedom of religion. So ideally every religious definition of marriage would be protected. Many congregations consider it immoral for people of the same sex to engage in sexual activity. Therefore, same-sex marriage is completely out of the question. Yet, for a growing number of congregations and spiritual communities, there is no moral problem with people of the same sex engaging in sexual activity. Therefore, marriage between people of the same sex is absolutely acceptable. Theoretically, under the US Constitution, all of these beliefs are equally protected.

What the actions by the Supreme Court in California have done is to extend the power of the government beyond the concerns of property and protecting minors, into the much more subtle realm of spirituality. The court ruling has legitimized a definition of marriage that aligns with the religious beliefs of some congregations. Yet by the nature of that definition, it has made the beliefs of other congregations illegal.

This situation becomes even more complicated by the fact that communities from the same faith traditions are divided amongst themselves about the morality of same-sex unions. Many faith communities have either a very public or a very private fight going on about this subject. And the reason is fairly straight-forward. Homosexuality is part of the human condition. Wherever there is a community of people, there will be a percentage of them that are gay. This is not a Christian issue, a Sikh issue, a Muslim issue, a Jewish issue, a Buddhist issue, a Hindu issue, a Baha’i issue or a Pagan issue. This is everybody’s issue.

Proposition 8 and the ruling by the California Supreme Court has taken what is, for many people, an issue of faith and has made secular judges the arbitrators of the debate. The fact that these religious differences are being played out in a court of law to me is a sign that we leaders within faith communities are not doing our jobs properly. If we had the courage to create dialogue within our communities about homosexuality and marriage, and try to work with all perspectives to find common ground, perhaps the time and money spent in court fights could be going to more worthy causes. I could be wrong about this, but it seems there is a very real shadow energy in Proposition 8. It is the shadow that says, “I am afraid to engage the issue of spirituality and homosexuality in my own life. So I will hide behind the word ‘tradition’ and avoid the deep conversation about God and human life that this issue provokes.”


How to Dialogue about this within the Sikh community

Fifteen years after my divorce from my first husband, I have been blessed to become a minister in the Sikh community. I love my adopted faith. I find it incredibly universal, tolerant and powerful. Yet, at times there is a profound divergence between what I have understood from studying the teachings of the Sikh Gurus, and what I see practiced in the culture of the Sikh community. The issue of homosexuality is one of these areas where I feel the strain of this contradiction.

The highest authorities of the Sikh tradition in India are adamantly opposed to same-sex unions on moral grounds. When people ask me, as a minister, if I would ever defy that authority and support a gay couple getting married in a Gurdwara (Sikh Temple), I take a deep breath. In my heart, I keep looking for common ground. Many years ago, Yogi Bhajan said to me, “Destroying a structure is not serving a structure.” Is there a way for this issue to be handled so that it doesn’t result in undermining the religious structure within the Sikh community nor does it result in gay Sikhs being ostracized? I disagree with the position that there is something morally wrong with same-sex unions. The Sikh Gurus taught that everything and everyone is created by the One Creator for a purpose. Everything that happens is within hukam – is within the Divine Will and the Divine Plan. So how can homosexuality be “wrong” when the Divine created it? It is my personal belief that there is no moral problem with same sex unions from the perspective of Gurbani (the Guru’s teachings.) But I also acknowledge that this prejudice exists within our community. So rather than answer the question of whether or not I would officiate at a gay marriage in a Sikh Gurdwara, I feel the first step is to have us within the Sikh community ask ourselves some deeper questions about our faith, and the purpose of marriage.

Gay people in the Sikh community are often asked to choose between these two identities: are you a Sikh? Or are you gay? Some few brave ones embrace both worlds. But many people under the pressure of their families or their communities make a choice. They either try to suppress their gay identity and fit in. Or they leave the Sikh faith altogether. The first question is: can we, as community members, create a supportive environment where someone who is gay does not feel pressured to make this kind of a choice?

Being a Sikh is a special, spiritual identity. It is a universal path, accepting and loving; it is the path of a spiritual warrior – defending those who cannot defend themselves; it is a path of service and prosperity – working by the sweat of your brow and sharing what you have earned with others. It is a path of profound prayer and meditation.

Being gay is also a special identity. It means finding love, companionship, partnership and a life journey with someone of the same sex. It means forever being a minority and having the unique privilege of facing the challenges and prejudices that come with the territory. It takes tremendous heart and courage to be openly gay in a world where many people wish that homosexuality would go away.

It is a blessing to be Sikh. And if we take the words of the Sikh Gurus to heart, being gay is hukam. It is something written for the person by the Creator before he or she was even born. The Sikh faith was founded on including everyone, even the lowest castes in India. So in the 21st century, do we as a community chose to make homosexuality a barrier to being a Sikh? Can the four doors of our most sacred temple, the Harimander Sahib in Amritsar, be open to all; but not be open to people who are gay?

Our first dialogue needs to be whether or not we as a community can acknowledge that every person has the right to be a Sikh, and sexual orientation is no limitation. Gays Sikhs have always and shall always exist. They are part of us. Can we support them? Can we accept them so they can embrace their identity fully and live with dignity as members of the Guru’s Court?

The second issue about marriage is much more subtle for me.

To my mind there, is a difference between getting married under US law and getting married in a Sikh Gurdwara, in the court of the Guru. US law governs the most basic property agreements between partners, and the US Constitution promises equality for all people. For the sake of honoring the Constitution, recognizing gay marriage would be a wonderfully healthy affirmation of the practice of equality that this country is founded upon.

On the other hand, the Sikh marriage ceremony, the Lavan, is a binding spiritual contract between two souls. It is a significant spiritual and moral commitment founded in a clear faith tradition. Ideally, the Sikh marriage is a life-long promise that two people will serve each other, meditate together, live in the purity of their own consciousness, and accept the guidance of the Shabad Guru throughout their lives. It is a decision to create the Grisht Ashram – the home that serves as a spiritual center for the community. The Sikh marriage is about two souls becoming one. It is to face the tests and challenges of life together, the partners promising to let their heads roll but not let their hands go. In the Sikh faith, marriage is the highest spiritual practice. It is the highest yoga. For in marriage, we face our darkest demons, our deepest shadows, and through the Guru’s guidance and grace, emerge victorious.

The Sikh marriage is not the realm for sexual promiscuity. It is not the foundation for mindlessly pursuing wealth, status and power. It is not for the sole purpose of having children, though children may come as a result. A Sikh marriage is the way that two people can serve each other and support each other to cultivate virtue, clear their karmas, and merge into the Deathless Light of Divinity that lives in each of our hearts. It is a commitment to the Guru, to each other, to the Creator and to the community to consciously grow in your spiritual practice and your capacity for service. This kind of marriage is the foundation upon which the future of the faith is built.

In this sense, for any couple, gay or straight, to be married in front of the Guru in the Gurdwara is a deep and profound commitment. This commitment is not to be entered into lightly. It has become easy for some couples to get married in front of the Guru without understanding what this ceremony is about. In some cases, the Sikh marriage has become a mere formality and ritual, and in that, the true meaning of the Lavan has gotten lost. So when someone talks about gay marriage in a Gurdwara, my first instinct is to say – let those who value the Lavan get married in the Gurdwara. Let those who do not want to live that discipline and commitment get married somewhere else. To me, this conversation about what the Lavan means and what marriage means to our faith as a whole is a precursor conversation to whether or not gay people “should be allowed” to get married in the Temple. The depth, power and importance of that commitment needs to be fully understood by everyone. Then we can see which couples feel called to live that commitment, and which ones do not.

The issue of gay marriage reflects a deeper dynamic in the world – the question of how the human family is going to live together in peace. It is my prayer that those who are called to be custodians of their respective spiritual communities will use this moment in history as an opportunity to dialogue about the principles of their faiths. A conscious and loving dialogue that involves deep listening on all sides and includes all voices. It is my hope that such a dialogue will strengthen the relationship we have with our Creator, and broaden our understanding about how to live with love and good will towards all of our brothers and sisters on the earth.

The answer to the question of whether or not I would personally officiate at a gay wedding inside of a Sikh Gurdwara is this: yes I will do it when doing so will not inflame or divide community members against each other. And I am willing to commit to working so that such a day can come. When that day happens, it will come because we have understood the teachings of the Sikh Gurus in a new way, and renewed our relationship with the purpose and meaning of the Sikh marriage. Then those beautiful souls who have the unique privilege of being Sikh and being gay can stand with honor and respect as equals in the Guru’s court.

If I have offended anyone with this essay, please know this was not written for anyone to take offense.

With Divine Light.

Yours sincerely and humbly,

Ek Ong Kaar Kaur Khalsa

Japji Sahib Courses: July

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

It will be my blessings in July to lead a team of teachers for an intensive Japji Sahib course July 5-7 at the Hacienda de Guru Ram Das ashram in Espanola, New Mexico.

Other teachers who will be sharing their knowledge and experience of Japji Sahib during this course include Dr. Inderjit Kaur, the Bhai Sahiba of Sikh Dharma International and the wife of the late Yogi Bhajan; world-renowned teachers and musicians including Mata Mandir Singh Khalsa, Shanti Kaur Khalsa and Guruka Singh Khalsa.

For details about the course, please visit: www.sikhdharma.org/events/event-257.

Then, from July 17-19th, it will also be my blessing to lead a Japji Sahib intensive at the Lotus Yoga Center in Toronto, Canada.

The Lotus Yoga Center is located at 100 Harbord Street in Toronto. The course will take place on Friday night from 6-9 pm; and Saturday and Sundry from 11 am - 6 pm. The cost is $225 plus gst if you register before July 3rd.

For more details about the course in Toronto, Canada, contact nirmal@thewellnesspath.ca.

In the past, some of you have written and asked: "What is a Japji Sahib intensive?" It is a two or two and half day event where we immerse ourselves in chanting, meditation and discussion in order to experience some of the key themes in Japji Sahib. Today, I'm grateful to share a few of those themes with you. These themes will be highlighted and discussed during the course.

The Divine Will – Everything in the Universe is flowing according to the conscious will of the Creator. Our job as humans is to simply flow with it.

Listening – Developing our own ability to deeply listen to ourselves and everything around us is the foundation for waking up.

Embracing the Shadow – The one Creator is the source of all things, including the shadow-side and the darkness in life. As humans, we need to make peace through the Shabad with the shadow, and understand that it has a Divine purpose.

Sound and Vibration – in the cosmology of Guru Nanak, all events, experiences and forms begin in the subtle realms as frequency and vibration. You will learn to touch that reality inside of yourself so you can heal and elevate your own life.

If it the will of God and if the hand of Guru guides you there, it is my prayer and that we may meet at one of these courses this summer.

May the Guru bless you you to continue your own search so that you find your own Deathless Spirit. And through your own Spirit, may you prevail against the challenges of the time with the grace of your own meditative strength.

All Love in the Divine.

Yours humbly,

Ek Ong Kaar Kaur

Random Considerations

Lately, I have been experiencing a bout of Blogger’s guilt.

Years ago, if you wrote an article for a magazine, you had months of lead time to do something thorough, to do something well - time to think, time to be creative, time to revise. Over the years, though God knows I have been blessed with a lovely talent for writing (Thank you, Creator of mine), I also have a bit of a laissez-faire attitude. One can maybe call it – being talented without being terribly ambitious. I write when the Spirit moves me, whenever that is, whatever topic comes up, and it’s enough.

A couple weeks ago, though, while cruising through my blog, I was shocked to see that I hadn’t written an interesting or proper essay since September of 2008. Five months ago. And I thought to myself– oh my goodness – do they kick you off the blog-o-sphere if you go that long without posting something? So here I am tonight, sitting on my couch with a mild relapse of the flu (this is the second time in a month that I’ve gotten it), awake because I took a four hour nap this afternoon, wondering, “What topic can I write about?”

There are a couple of essays in my mind – one about the linguistic map of Gurbani and one about the journey from Om to Ek Ong Kaar. But I’m a little too feverish to focus that much right now.

Instead, I’d rather to connect with all of you who like to read what I write. And share a few random thoughts with you.

Be good to yourself. Who you are is all you have in the end – your sense of your own identity, your sense of your own journey through life. There are a lot of pressures and Sirens (in the Greek mythological sense) that pull us one way or the other. Don’t let those pressures take you away from YOU. Keep your power. Know who you are and why you are. Whenever you make a decision, make it based on the values that you have, the character that you choose to cultivate. Never make a decision based on what someone promises will happen in the end. Promises never work out the way you imagine them, and regrets are all you will find if you walk down that road. In this moment, have the confidence of knowing that your soul is on its own unique journey through time and space – a journey that no else can take for you. Listen to your soul. Trust it. Respect it. Love it. Let It guide you wherever It will. And don’t expect to be compensated for doing it. The compensation is the joy you feel in this moment that you are free and you have the strength to act in alignment with your Spirit. The future is unknown and will present its own challenges. So let every moment fulfill itself. Being who you are with every breath is its own best reward.

Love each other. There’s so much craziness right now with money and the economy. We’ve forgotten that we don’t survive because of money. We survive because we love each other and take care of each other. If all of the banks were to fail, if all of the businesses were to collapse, if everything we knew were to end, as long as we had each other and we could face the challenge together, we would be fine. Living or dying doesn’t matter. Enjoying and loving and laughing and embracing each other, we can go through anything. It’s the way we love that counts in the end.

Remember it’s all a game. The Guru says it all the time – there is One Divine Light playing all of the parts in the play. Try not to take it too seriously. It’s not that serious. We’re in God’s movie. Play your part, enjoy the theater, and remember this is not your true home. This is not your final destination. This is just a temporary station along the way. Be God’s guest on the earth for a while. Be a good, kind, gracious and considerate guest. And when it’s time to go, go with a smile, go with a song, and go with the victory that no one could ever defeat you because you made a choice to take this precious gift of the human life and live it from the inside out.

So those are my random, whimsical, slightly fever-ridden thoughts for today. Be good to yourself. Love each other. Remember it’s all a game. You are the bright, blissful, beautiful manifestation of Divine Energy on the earth. Live it. Be it. Enjoy it completely! And don’t let anyone or anything, any event or any tragedy, keep you from remembering it.

And for the record – this message is not channeled. It’s me within myself telling how it is. Because the Guru has blessed me to appreciate and enjoy my own Inner Light – and that Inner Light is really clear about where things “are at.” YOUR Inner Light is equally as clear. Look to yourself and be happy.

May the Light of God that lives in your own heart make Itself known to your own mind so that you may be strong in your values and virtues and stay committed to the best and highest most beautiful Self that you are.

With Divine Love, Divine Light and many blessings.

Yours humbly,

Ek Ong Kaar Kaur

Japji Sahib and Other Courses 2009

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

For those of you who might be interested, I am teaching two different weekends at the end of January and the beginning of February. These are the only times I'll be teaching outside of Espanola, New Mexico, for the first half of 2009. If you have a longing and want to come join me for some deep meditation and soul-calibration with the Guru, would love to see you.

Japji Sahib Intensive hosted by Yoga Source in Coral Springs, Fl.
Jan. 31-Feb 1.
www.yogasourcefl.com

We will spend the weekend going deeply into the message and meaning of Guru Nanak's Japji Sahib. With discussion, meditation and cozy community.

Saturday January 31 from 9 am to 5 pm
Sunday February 1st from 12:30 to 5 pm

$108 for the weekend
Includes a vegetarian lunch on Saturday and a Yogi Tea/snack on Sunday

Yoga Source is also hosting one of my favorite Naad Yogis, Dev Suroop Kaur, the following weekend, on Experiencing the Power of Mantra. Those of you who sign up for both weekends at the same time receive a special discount on the price. Visit Yoga Source's website for details.


The Aquarian Age and Human Evolution hosted by YogaYoga of Austin, Texas.
February 6-9, 2009
www.yogayoga.com/seAquarianAge

November 11, 2011 marks the transition into the Aquarian Age. The description of the human potential by the Sikh Masters is key to understanding this change of Ages.

Join us for a wonderful weekend of Kundalini Yoga, meditation, mantra and discussion of Guru Nanak's Japji Sahib and Guru Amar Das's Anand Sahib. We'll talk about the transition that is happening, and how to use the technology of Shabad Guru to ride the waves of change towards a better future for humanity.

Friday, February 6, 6:30 to 8:30 - Welcome to the Aquarian Age
Saturday, Febuary 7, 12:00 - 5:00 - Accelerating Consciousness: The Sensory Human
Sunday, February 8, 12:00 - 5:00 - Living in Bliss: Sacred Sound and the Inner Teacher

$108 for the weekend
Or special prices to attend each day.

To register, go on-line www.yogayoga.com/seAquarianAge or call (512) 381-6464.


On a more personal note, I have one or two essays knocking around in the back of my head, but have not had much time since returning from India to put them to paper. God's grace, look for more essays and stories early in 2009. And thanks for Keeping Up with the blog.

May you have a blessed and Divine Winter Solstice and New Year. And may the Guru guide you to the best and highest purpose of your life surrounded by love, surrendered to joy, and immersed in harmony and peace.

With Divine Light and Divine Love.

Yours humbly,

Ek Ong Kaar Kaur

Prosperity and Ghosts

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

This is just a quick post to share a couple of links with you.

Prosperity

First, on November 15th, it was my blessing to lead a tele-class called "Prosperity is in your Projection." We're happy that the tele-class was recorded and it is now posted on the Sikh Dharma International website.

If you'd like to listen to it, please visit: http://www.sikhdharma.org/pages/prosperity-your-projection

Ghosts

Second, a dear friend of mine, Soul Singh Khalsa, has written a really great spiritual fantasy story that's quite a ride. The story is called The Ghost of Susan Strasser - and he's created a fabulous website where you can listen to the first nine chapters.

http://www.soulsingh.net

I love this story. It's this wild combination of East and West, power struggles, murder, yoga, youthful heroism and a touch of the Sikh spirit. A true heroic myth for the New Age. If you have a chance - check it out.

Thanks to all of you who expressed your enjoyment of the Sounds of Hazur Sahib journal. http://www.sikhnet.com/300saal/Audio-Journal

It was wonderful to do!

With Divine Light and many blessings,

Ek Ong Kaar Kaur

Anand Sahib Translation: Published

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

Almost two years ago (oh my goodness – has it really been that long??), I posted a draft translation of Guru Amar Das’s Anand Sahib on my blog. Since that time, the translation has gone through a few minor tweaks, and a lengthy self-publishing process. But this summer, the translation of Guru Amar Das’s Anand Sahib made it into book form (at last.) For those of you who like the writing that I do, and who may have read the translation on-line, if you would like a copy of the publication, please visit:
www.sikhdharma.org/store/products/anand-sahib-song-bliss.

This translation is not typical. It plays with language on a deeper level. To my mind, it does not make sense that one word of Gurbani equals one word of English. Gurbani says something that the English language has never even imagined. To understand the theoretical framework behind the translation – please take a look at this essay from January of 2007. http://ekongkaar.blogspot.com/2007/01/anand-sahib-maps-of-reality-in.html

One “perk” about the actual physical publication is that there is an essay in the beginning by the late Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahiba Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji (also known as Yogi Bhajan). It is an essay where he talks about the state and psychology of Anand. It’s an essay that I listened to over and over again during the translation process – because it gave me a starting point and direction to understand what Guru Amar Das was talking about when he sung this teaching song about "Bliss." If you decide to get a copy of the book, I hope you enjoy the essay. It's quite amazing.

May you be blessed to experience the truth, reality and bliss in yourSelf. And may the Divine Light in you shine with love and grace for all to see for endless times to come.

With Divine Light, Divine Love and many blessings,

Ek Ong Kaar Kaur

Back to Basics

If I know anything at all about money, it’s because of my father.

His is the kind of story that probably could never happen today. Worked his way in RCA up the corporate ladder – having attended, but never completed, college. Eventually, he landed as the head of the International Finance Division for RCA’s broadcast equipment area. He and his team traveled around the world brokering deals for the sale of RCA color television equipment to (among others) Monaco TV, the Brazilian government, and all of those televangelists who came along in the 1970s. He even has a story about almost having Ted Turner thrown into jail when Turner tried to intervene during a repo of some RCA broadcast equipment. Back when Turner was just starting out. There are a lot of big names we know – the personalities who built the content side of the broadcast industry. My dad is known among the people who built the actual infrastructure. He’s one of the people who helped lay the railroad, so to speak.

When I was growing up, every Sunday morning after church, the family would sit around the dining room table having breakfast together. When my dad wasn’t traveling, he used Sunday breakfast as his opportunity to pontificate on the topics that the priest couldn’t explain: finance, money and the world.

I remember when I was maybe 12 or 13 years old that my dad decided to have a long talk with me about it one day. A talk about money. How it worked. How it really worked. He went back in history to how commerce got started - people trading cows for food, (something like that, the memory of my 12 year old self says). And how eventually currency formed – as a kind of convenience. But when currency started, there was always something to back it up. Land. Metal. Something. Money just didn’t exist on its own, in a vacuum. Money represented wealth that was held somewhere. It was a symbol of something of value that actually existed.

The US dollar, for instance, was originally backed by gold. The gold standard, he told me. Every single US dollar used to be accounted for by gold stored in the US Treasury. Then, he explained, President Richard Nixon got rid of the gold standard. And after that happened – and with banks using more and more computers – money was nothing more than a bunch of numbers showing up on a computer screen. Someone pressed a button – and blip blip - the numbers showed up on a different computer screen. That’s all there was to it. There wasn’t anything else. There wasn’t any gold or cows or land to back up the money. Nothing to see. Nothing to touch. Nothing really there. Just a bunch of numbers on a computer screen and that was it.

But why did it work? he asked me. Why did it work? It was very important to him – that I understood what he was saying. He was explaining something crucial about the world that day. Something that he wanted me to get. Why did it work? Why did money work – when there was nothing there?

It worked, he told me, because people have confidence in it. That was the only reason. People have confidence in it. So it works. The moment people lose confidence – it won’t work anymore.

Never deal with money, was the lesson he gave me. There’s nothing there. Deal with people’s confidence.

Eventually, my dad left RCA. Took a job as a CFO at a broadcast corporation where he stayed pretty settled for the next 25 years, until he retired. The older I get and the more I see of the world, the more I realize what an accomplishment it is for someone to stay in that kind of position with one company for that many years. Talking with my father, I’ve asked him what his secret to success was. It usually boils down to two main points.

First – always keep your word. For my dad, his word is his bond. Some people, when it comes to money, they play games, get greedy, mislead or slip something into the contract without the other person knowing. My dad never did it. Once he gave his word – that was it. The deal was done. What that meant was that he put everything he had into the negotiating. My dad is a son of a gun to negotiate with. But once he gives his word – it’s gold. And that earned him trust and that earned him respect.

He’s also a no-nonsense guy who understood his job clearly. “I control the money,” he said. “It’s my job to make people justify why they need it. If they can’t justify it – they don’t get it. I don’t play favorites. I’m hard on everyone.”

Making people justify why they need it. Having a standard. Having a set of rules around which the money is lent and spent. It shows a respect. A respect that a company has money and assets because of the work that has been done in the past. That profit, those assets have been earned through people’s work. And to keep the company functioning and healthy, you have to treat those assets respectfully. Be responsible about how you use them.

I'm not sure that these are the lessons one would learn in an MBA course. I've never done my MBA. Whatever I learned about money, I learned from my father during Sunday morning breakfast. But I do know those values kept my father successful in finance his whole life – company profitable, people employed, owners happy, bonuses at the end of every year. Because he knew from his work that there’s nothing really there. Nothing except the confidence of the people who keep the whole thing moving.

Watching the financial woes on Wall Street this week, I wonder if some of what my father taught me when I was young might be useful to pass along. The stories above are a couple examples. But some other lessons he taught me along the way:

Investment is gambling. Period. It’s a gamble. If you lose the gamble, you lose the money. There’s a risk involved. Like horses. The more unlikely it is that the horse will win, the higher the return if it manages to cross the finishing line first. But no matter how many charts people show you, how many pitches they give you – when you invest, you are making a bet. And if you lose the bet- the lose it. So only bet with what you can afford to lose. If you can’t afford to lose it, don’t invest it.

A good financial spreadsheet is where your assets and your savings are more than your debt. It’s OK to borrow if you are borrowing for an actual asset like a car or a house or some television equipment. And with some assets, you can write off the interest on your taxes. Just make sure the assets you own and your savings are more than your debt.

Never borrow to buy clothes or to go out to a restaurant. Credit card debt will eat you alive.

Money is people’s livelihoods. Don’t forget it. It’s not just about the bottom line. People have to make a living. People have to get paid. Make them work for it. Appreciate them for the hard work. It’s what creates the profit. But remember – you manage the money for the employees wages and the profit. It all has to work together.

The middle class is the bedrock of our economy. You don’t have to be rich to be happy. You don’t have to be rich to have a good life. Where there’s a lot of wealth – people go crazy. They do crazy things to get it. They do crazy things to keep it. Never turn your back on God for money. Keep your word, have integrity, be grateful and remember – enough is enough.

Work hard. Save. Know that investments are a gamble. Deal with people’s confidence. Keep your word. If someone wants the money, make him justify it. Protect the bottom line and be a good custodian of people’s livelihoods.

These aren’t the values that make you rich quick. But they are the values the give you success, stature and respect over a lifetime.

Back to basics.

Perhaps the folks on Wall Street could use the reminder.

Ram Rai's Test of Sprit

Originally posted on SikhNet: http://www.sikhnet.com/300saal/ramrai

Although Guru Gobind Singh formally passed the Light of Nanak to the Siri Guru Granth Sahib in 1708, throughout the lives of the Sikh Gurus, the Granth experienced its own evolution. Not just in terms of its physical form, but also in terms of the spiritual laws under which it would operate. When the Light of Nanak passed to the Granth, certain realities had already been established in history – about the Granth’s sovereignty; about Its Identity in the Etheric dimension as well as the physical; about Its importance to the future of the human race.

Here re-told in honor of the 300th anniversary of the Siri Guru Granth Sahib receiving the Light of Nanak are some of those stories. Re-told with an eye to the message of what the Guru Granth would become. Re-told from the perspective of knowing today how important the Shabad Guru is to the future.

When people speak about Aurangzeb as a Muslim ruler, they misunderstand the point. Aurangzeb came to power in an inhumane way. He was the Hitler of his time. Though the third son of the Emperor Shah Jahan, Aurangzeb raised an army, fought his brothers, had the eldest son, Dara Shikoh, murdered, and threw his father in prison. In this way, he seized the throne in Delhi and claimed himself Emperor. His approach to securing leadership created so much disdain among people of spiritual understanding and consciousness, that when he sent an offering to Mecca in celebration of his triumph, it is said Mecca returned the offering to him untouched. Mecca, the spiritual center of the Muslim world, wanted nothing to do with Aurangzeb’s rise to power.

It was this insult, this slap in the face from his spiritual elders that caused Auarngzeb to vow that he would create more Muslims than any other ruler. Needing to prove himself a true Muslim king, Aurangzeb believed that if he could convert enough people in India to the faith of Islam, then Mecca would have to recognize him. It was this desperate drive for recognition, the belief that the political clout of huge conversions would earn him a spiritual position that fueled the unspeakable tortures and cruelty for which his reign would be remembered. Convert or die in the most horrible ways imaginable.

That was his psyche. That through force, mental manipulation, political games, and sheer violence God Himself could be conquered.

For the entirety of Aurangzeb’s reign, the court and protection of the Sikh Gurus would be the one place where people could breathe free. Where people could ignore Aurangzeb’s dictates without fear of retribution. But we have to understand that time and space is not about what happens among individuals. There are currents of karmas that come into the world. Leaders act out the collective karma of the people over which they rule. Something was happening in India. A soul group had come in to test which was stronger – spiritual knowledge and wisdom? Or political pressure and acumen? Which energy would be superior? Which inferior? And this karma would play itself out during Aurangzeb’s reign – even in the family and court of the Guru.

The eldest son of Emperor Shah Jahan, Dara Shikoh, had a genuine spiritual life. He was poised to become Emperor and rule not only with political power, but also with wisdom. He had studied under the Sufi saint Mian Mir. He had also taken the time to meditate and understand the ways of both the Hindus and the Muslims, so he had a much more transcended perspective than his brother. What kind of ruler he would have made, we can only imagine.

In his youth Guru Har Rai had given Emperor Shah Jahan an herbal remedy when Dara Shikoh had become ill and no one else could heal him. So, in some ways, it was natural that when Aurangzeb was pursuing his oldest brother, with the intent to imprison and kill him, Dara Shikoh took refuge in Guru Har Rai’s court.

It is said that Guru Har Rai and Dara Shikoh met and spoke on many matters. Some spiritual. Others political. In the spiritual realm, Guru Har Rai honored Dara Shikoh’s spiritual knowledge, and furthered his education by sharing spiritual instructions with him. The Guru saw that the young man had already earned his spiritual empire. On the political side, however, Guru Har Rai counseled Dara Shikoh that he had no other choice but to fight Aurangzeb and to take back the throne in Delhi. It is said that the Guru told him to do everything in his power to prevent the establishment of Aurangzeb’s authority.

Dara Shikoh valiantly tried to prevent his brother’s rise to power, but his victory was not the will of God. The young Emperor fought his younger brother, but was defeated and brought back to Delhi in chains. Aurangzeb charged his brother with not only political misconduct, but also heretical beliefs - a sign of the fanaticism that was to come. He was condemned to death based on his “heresy.” And what could have been a golden age of spiritual enlightenment and tolerance dissolved into darkness.

In time, Aurangzeb turned his attention to the Sikh Guru who had given shelter and comfort to his brother. What he desired more than anything was that the Sikh Guru should convert to Islam. And thus began a game of spiritual wisdom versus political intrigue that would last through the time of Guru Gobind Singh. Aurangzeb commanded Guru Har Rai in a letter to appear in his court. But Guru Har Rai had already made a commitment to himself that he would never meet in person with Aurangzeb. Desiring to teach the false Emperor what he had lost, Guru Har Rai wrote back to Aurangzeb and chastised him for his behavior.

“The empire he (Dara Shikoh) has received is imperishable. It is only those who God loves who can be like Dara Shikoh. If you have any doubt as to the empire that Dara Shikoh has received, meditate on him as you go to sleep and you will have a vision of the reality.”

The Guru’s words came true. One night, while sleeping, Aurangzeb received a vision. In the vision, his brother presided on a throne, while celestial angels surrounded him. Everyone in the court had been anointed with sandalwood, attar of roses and other precious perfumes. Garlands of the most beautiful flowers adorned them. As for Aurangzeb, in the vision, he was wearing dirty clothes and carrying a basket filled with muck. Rain fell from the sky and the muck spread all over his body. Then a slave-driver came to him and hit him so hard with a stick that he fell on his face.

When Aurangzeb awoke from his dream, he thought the Guru had some type of magical powers and had sent him this terrible vision. Rather than seeing the truth in the dream, the experience deepened Aurangzeb’s resolve to conquer Guru Har Rai. He called one of his nobles before him, instructing him to go to the Guru’s home, arrest him and bring him back to Delhi. The noble never made it. He died of food poisoning along the way.

Aurangzeb’s attempt to summon the Guru had failed. The noble sent to capture him had died. Now Aurangzeb’s court moved into a mode of deceit and social manipulation. The priests of Aurangzeb’s court counseled the Emperor to write to Guru Har Rai again – this time in a friendly and diplomatic way – inviting him to Delhi. When the Guru arrived, the Emperor would then have the power to do what he wished. So in alignment with the advice of these counselors, Aurangzeb wrote another letter – asking the Guru to come and teach him the ways of God.

When Guru Har Rai received the letter, he brought the matter to his Sikhs and asked their opinion. It was a moment where political concerns and spiritual concerns were weighed and discussed. Some, feeling afraid of Aurangzeb’s power, thought it best for the Guru to appease Aurangzeb and meet him in court. But the Guru could not go along with it. It is reported that he said,

“What you counsel is political, but I have taken a vow that I will never look at this terrible man. In the first place, I have no business with him. Secondly, he is very deceitful and treacherous. Thirdly, he imprisoned his father and put to death his brother, Dara Shikoh, who was a great saint, and believed in the One Divine Spirit. Fourthly, the Emperor is cruel and bigoted. He murders holy men and is everyone’s enemy.”

It is an interesting moment in history – this moment of Aurangzeb’s letter to Guru Har Rai; this clash between the spiritual court of tolerance and transcendence, and the political court of intolerance, intrigue and power. Guru Arjun had sacrificed his life to protect the sovereignty of the Sikhs. Guru Hargobind had established the Akal Takhat on the earth – the only throne where political power and spiritual power had merged to protect the entire human race from oppression and persecution. But for that vision of the Khalsa Nation to come to life, there was a fear to overcome. A fear present in Guru Har Rai’s court. And perhaps even with us still today. It was a fear that survival depends upon catering to people who are perceived to have the most power – regardless of their morals or integrity.

Guru Har Rai saw that fear and refused to give into it. He understood – and wanted his Sikhs to understand – that moral integrity is the greater power. And that wealth, influence, armies, titles, thrones without moral integrity is a trap worse than death.

Ram Rai, the eldest son of the Guru, entered the court while the discussion was going on. One can only imagine how he must have seen himself. As the first son of Guru Har Rai, he must have believed that he would inherit the Guruship one day. And probably in his mind he was making his own plans for when that day would come. What he would do. How he would wield that power. What he might do the same as his father. What he might do differently. All of this being a natural psychological process for the first born of a patriarch to go through when contemplating his future.

When Ram Rai heard the discussion at hand, perhaps he saw an opportunity to make his mark, to begin his era of leadership. He disagreed with his father and said that someone must of course go to the Emperor. Otherwise it would put the Sikhs in a very difficult position. Those assembled in court who felt similarly supported Ram Rai’s words.

“You are the oldest son of the Guru,” they said. “You are very capable. Go to Aurangzeb and settle this situation, otherwise there will be great trouble for us. If you do not go, it will lead to a huge fight. It is not safe for us to have a quarrel with the ruler of the time.”

Ram Rai listened, and replied that he would go visit the Emperor himself and create a satisfactory settlement if the Sikhs wished it. Guru Har Rai gave his permission, but also sent his son with this advice. “Whatever happens, if you keep faith in the Guru, the Guru will be with you,” he said. The Guru also emphasized how critical it was for Ram Rai to not cater to any of the objections that Aurangzeb might have to the Guru Granth. “The Emperor Jahangir told my great-grandfather Guru Arjan that certain passages referring to the Muslims should be taken out of the Granth Sahib. But Guru Arjan refused and said he would never alter or abridge the writings of the Gurus. He suffered so much as a consequence, but he never catered to or flattered anyone.” And with these words in his mind, Ram Rai departed.

There are different stories about what happened when Aurangzeb and Ram Rai met. It is said Aurangzeb gave Ram Rai a robe of poison, but the poison had no effect. It is said that the Emperor had a sheet spread over a deep pit, but when Ram Rai stood on the sheet – the sheet did not give way.

Yet for all of the ways that Ram Rai was absolutely protected from death, with all the miracles that happened, nothing could protect him from his own insecurity, from his own doubts. The Emperor gathered his priests to interrogate Ram Rai about the Shabad. The Shabad - which Guru Nanak said was his own spiritual Guru and guide. The Shabad - which caters to no politics, no man’s ego, no sense of territory or power, but purely and simply provokes the man out of his limited self into Universal consciousness. And the priests objected to one of Guru Nanak’s lines.

"The ashes of the Muslim fall into the potter’s wheel.
Vessels and bricks are fashioned from them – they cry out as they burn."

Aurangzeb proposed a Devil’s deal with Ram Rai. If Ram Rai would consent to alter the line, all position, status, titles and worldly wealth would be his. If Ram Rai refused, the punishment was death.

Sometimes, a soul is born with tremendous spiritual privilege. Wisdom is there. The opportunity to serve is there. But the Creator tests His creation. Like a gold smith seeking to extract pure gold for His work, the Creator puts us into the heat, into the fire. So what is not of the Essence burns away. And all that remains is that purity, that light.

Those tests of consciousness come to everyone. To all of us as we travel on our spiritual path. No one is spared. And they are difficult because so many times – all of the luxuries and comforts of the Earth present themselves as the reward for going against our consciousness. For betraying our values. No one soul in the history of humanity faced that test more blatantly, more brutally than Guru Har Rai’s eldest son, Ram Rai.

What does it mean to hold spiritual power? Does it mean having wealth and status, title and command over others? Or does it simply mean having the capacity to lay down one’s life to defend certain principles and values – no matter who or what the challenge may be?

So there was Ram Rai, in Aurangzeb’s court, with Death on one side and the absolute riches of Maya, including politically-conferred spiritual status, on the other. And all he had to do to get the Maya was to cheat a little. Give in a little. Cater just a word to the illusion that another human being has the power to give us something or take it away.

In the heat of that fire, in the face of that test, Ram Rai broke. He truly wanted to please Aurangzeb – to secure a peace of sorts between the false Emperor and the Guru. He wanted to be successful in his own mind, in his own image, as he imagined it. And to achieve those goals, he turned his back on his lineage and tradition, ignored the advice of his enlightened father, and agreed to alter the line to suit Aurangzeb’s taste.

Ram Rai said to the Emperor, “Your Majesty, the correct line is that the ashes of the faithless, not of the Muslim, fall into the potter’s clod. The text has been corrupted by some ignorant person and your Majesty’s religion and mine have been made to look the worse because of it.”

One tiny word. One second to choose. And the dimension of Ram Rai’s spirit shifted from the Perfect Court of the Guru to the false one of Auruangzeb.

When word of Ram Rai’s behavior reached Guru Har Rai, the Guru became very upset at the way his son had insulted Guru Nanak and the Granth Sahib. Guru Arjan had sacrificed himself in torture and flame to protect the Granth Sahib’s purity and sovereignty. Yet Ram Rai did not have the strength to defend it. Guru Har Rai decided that his eldest son was not fit to receive the Guruship, and renounced him as his son. “The Guruship is like the milk of a tigress which can only be contained in a golden cup,” he said. “Only a person who is ready and willing to devote his life to it can be worthy of it. Ram Rai will never look upon my face again. Let him live with Aurangzeb and amass money in his court.”

If we freeze-frame this historical moment and look at it a little deeper, a premonition of what the Granth Sahib would become is revealed. To be the Guru was to be someone willing to die to defend the Shabad. It was never a question of personal power, charisma, gain or influence. The Sikh Gurus didn’t live for themselves. They lived for the Shabad. The Guruship was reserved for those persons who understood, were merged into, and could die protecting the Shabad as contained in the Granth Sahib.

Guru Har Rai was a custodian of the Shabad – preserving it and passing it forward to the future generations. We may even take a perspective that the entire time and space of the physical Gurus were a gestation, birth and development of the Granth Sahib. That the physical Gurus simply served as guardians and protectors so that one day the Shabad, Itself, would reign in the hearts and minds of men.

For it is through the Shabad and Its transcendent, universal wisdom that people can be lifted out of the pain and suffering created by the garbage in their subconscious minds. Lifted into the light and happiness of experiencing the Deathless Reality of their own Inner-Divinity. It is this consciousness of knowing oneself – in the Ultimate Way – that must eventually replace the politics of power and greed. That is what a sovereign Khalsa spiritual nation would be. The consciousness to choose God, to choose the Reality and Experience of the Divine, no matter what the challenge or test. This consciousness is not something we can give to ourselves. It is not something we can command or create with our own mind. But through the Guru’s grace and the practice of the Shabad, this consciousness is something that can be born within us, can grow and stand firm in the face of the challenges of time and space.

Ram Rai gained a temporary earthly protector, but lost his spiritual father. Ram Rai gained his own temporary spiritual community, but lost his position with the Sikh community. Ram Rai gained the temporarily opulent court of Aurangzeb, but lost the right to be present in the Guru’s court. Most importantly, Ram Rai gained a politically-appointed spiritual position, but lost the authority of his own consciousness. For in catering to Aurangzeb and the so-called spiritual people of that false court, he was forever doomed to a life of twisting spiritual truth to accommodate temporary earthly politics.

In the following years, when Aurangzeb had people tortured and killed for refusing to convert to Islam, what could Ram Rai do?

Political leadership without spiritual integrity creates misery on the earth. And what this lesson from history shows us is that the words of the Shabad cannot to be twisted or misrepresented to achieve political advantage and power. It is a mistake worse than death – for even in death, we might hope to have the Guru’s darshan.

All Love in the Divine,

Ek Ong Kaar Kaur

Last Japji Sahib Intensive for the Year: Boulder, Colorado

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

Sat Nam and blessings.

It's been such a wonderful time traveling to various communities this year and hosting intensive workshops on Guru Nanak's Japji Sahib: The Song of the Soul. The last one for 2008 will be held this July in Boulder, Colorado, and the next course will not be until Florida at the end of January in 2009. If you've been thinking about coming this year - now's the chance! Would love to see you there.

This event is Friday night and all day Saturday. Discussion about the universal wisdom in Guru Nanak's Japji Sahib, along with chanting, meditation, yoga, and good spiritual company. It promises to be a very cozy time.

Boulder, Colorado

July 18-19th

Nanak's Nook

3840 Baseline Road

(303) 544-0141 or email NanaksNook@aol.com

Friday, July 18 from 7 pm to 9 pm

Saturday, July 19 from 9 am to 5:30 pm

$108 Advance Registration by July 5th

$128 at the door

It is said that Guru Hargobind told his Sikhs that all of life's problems can be cleared and liberation attained by meditating upon and understanding Guru Nanak's Japji Sahib. We'll do our best to see how much we can learn together.

Hope to see you there and to see you soon!

With Divine Light and Love,

Ek Ong Kaar Kaur

On the Train

On the train from Connecticut to Massachusetts, I remember. A childhood growing up in the Northeast. Rows of houses remodeled again and again since Colonial Times. Trees lining the streets, marking the seasons with their distinct shades of dress. Sometimes green, sometimes orange, sometimes nothing at all.

That priceless time– where it seemed, somehow, one could be 8 years old, or 10 years old, or 12 years old forever.

Looking out the window, breathing in the nostalgia, I watch my thoughts slip into another direction. Yes – this is all familiar to me. Even after so many years living in the Southwest – the Northeast still feels like home. But not everything is the same as I remember. And as the train keeps rolling, there are other scenes my eyes register, making it difficult for me to inhale deeply, to catch my breath.

Pieces of automobiles, plastic bottles, debris from houses scatter themselves around the trees. Like zombies – the living dead – they are no longer needed, no longer wanted but are incapable of truly decaying. The earth supports them and the trees look down – waiting, waiting for Mother Nature to absorb them into the earth, into an organic, primal existence where they can be re-organized into new and luscious life. But the debris just sits there – abandoned, mournful. Unable to surrender and rejoin the cycle of life. And the trees stand there watching, confused, wondering what to do with the extra weight on their roots.

It is my habit to look for messages in everything that surrounds me. And there, in the urban landscape, I find my lesson. What we create around us comes from within. Seeing the trees with their awkward and wasted compatriots, I can feel the nervous system inside myself. Inside of us all. And I make the connection.

There it is – the undigested pain, the clumped anger, the insistent desires clinging haphazardly to my own neuro-transmitters – an ecology of emotional garbage that does nothing and contributes nothing. Absorbing energy, prana, breath, life as it reminds me that it’s there, and that it doesn’t have a place to go.

Brain damage. On the most subtle level, we are all of us in some way brain damaged. We cannot handle our own sensitivity, so we numb it with alcohol or drugs, melodramatic relationships, too much sugar, too many fantasies from soap operas, movies, books, living vicariously through Reality TV. All because we can’t handle the inner debris that has attached itself to our own memory, to our own awareness. That is damaging our roots – the nerves in our bodies that create the subtle core of our consciousness. And in that brain damage, we are loosing. Loosing much more than this moment. We are loosing the future.

Our subconscious minds create around us that pattern of the internal pain. So even though every human rationally knows we cannot survive without water, the water around us is too polluted to drink. And though we know that the breath of life keeps us going every second, the air in some places has become too polluted to breath. And it doesn’t have anything to do with government or business, commerce or globalization. It has to do with the inner sickness in me, the inner sickness in you and what that sickness creates together.

It begins, the Guru tells us, with the five elements of earth, water, fire, air and ether. These elements give rise to the five poisons of lust, anger, greed, pride and attachment. And these are poisons – why? Because they create an inner pollution. Bio-chemical junk in the ecology of the nervous system. They release hormones that dissolve brain tissue. Chemicals that interrupt and decay the delicate web of neuro-transmitters running through the spine, the brain and the body. These poisons sabotage our own sight. In the rush of feeling that anger causes, or lust, or greed, or pride, or attachment – we loose sight of our own delicacy, of the delicacy of the other person. How sensitive we are. How easily hurt. How much we all long for love, affection and connection. That sensitivity, given to us as a gift so that we can perceive the Divine in everything, gets damaged. We become blind to so many things. And over time, like rivers and forests filled with debris, the inner-ecology of our own psyche becomes too polluted for our own Spirit to live. These poisons compromise our ability to think clearly, to see intuitively, to act with strength, power and excellence.

Riding on the train, I look at the garbage, and the beauty it diminishes. And I see myself. I see all of us – our pain, our difficulties, our struggles to rise above these poisons and just simply live.

________________________________________

Bhareeai hath pair tan dayh paanee dhotai utras khay
Moot paleetee kapar ho-I day saaboon la-ee-ai oho dho-i
Bharee-ai mat paapaa kai sang oho dhopai naavai kai rang

When the hands, the feet,
The whole body
Becomes dirty,
Water
Washes it all away.

When clothes are
Stained with urine,
Soap and water
Removes the stain.

But when
Our own psyches
Are polluted with the dirt
That comes from
The errors and pain
We inflict on others,

Only our True Selves
Can restore us
To our Original Color.
(Japji Sahib, Pauree 19 – Guru Nanak Dev Ji)


For the last several weeks, I have been meditating on how to finish this vignette. And these lines from Guru Nanak keep running through my mind. There is dirt. It’s part of life. Dirty socks, dirty shirts, dirty overalls from working in the garden. There’s something that happens just because we are alive. We live, we act and from those actions, we sweat. We take in food and it goes through us. It happens – it’s natural. In our sensitivity, we feel that clean clothes allow us to live today in a fresh way. Clean homes and work spaces give our minds a sense of ease. It’s hard-wired into the human psyche that the process of living creates a by-product we call dirt. Well – what is it, really? That dirt? That garbage? It’s the remains of what we did yesterday that have no place in our tomorrow. We want each day to have its own chance at success. So we find ways to clean up before we start again. To look neat, to dress nicely, to wash our bodies, to have organized and pleasing spaces. It’s a sign of being human.

The same thing happens with the mind. We interact with each other. We communicate. We do things together. And we learn through experience how to handle the extraordinarily complex dance of mutuality in relationships. Sometimes, the experience comes at a price. We hurt someone, someone hurts us – and the memory of that creates a pain inside. A pain so powerful it reminds us, “Don’t do that again.” And sometimes we can get lost in that pain.

Paap. The word in Gurmukhi is “Paap.” “Sin” is a mistranslation, really. Sin is something you do against God, that blackens the soul. But in Gurmukhi, the Inner Being is always there, always Pure. Your Inner Self is always innocent and always light. It's the mind that gets clouded with these painful memories - memories that are the natural result of our human experience. The five poisons that are the shadow of the five elements. The pain, the poisons, the memories cause us to forget who we are. Cause us to forget how to be our selves, our genuine selves, on the earth.

We know the physical dirt is there – the normal wear and tear of daily living. And we clean it up because it’s outside of us. But sometimes we forget that the mental dirt is there, as well. Day after day. The accumulated memory of what went wrong and what almost went right. How well we behaved. How much we missed the mark. The mental dirt needs to be cleansed, too. So that we can start each day fresh, anew.


Jinee naam dhiaaiaa gaay masakat ghaal
Naanak tay much ujakay kaytee chhutee naal.

Those
Who meditate
In the core
Of their being

Who earn themselves
Through their hard work –

Naanak,
Their faces are radiant and beautiful
And so very many who are connected with them
Are liberated, too.
(Japji Sahib, Shalok, by Guru Nanak)

Meditation, Guru Nanak tells us, is hard work. Meditation doesn’t mean ignoring life, or becoming spaced out. Meditation is the process of going inside and consciously cleaning out the accumulated mental dirt that's part of life. We go inside and face it - the pain, the shame, the guilt, the anger, the confusion. And then, finding the sacred waters inside of ourselves we clean it up. (Japji Sahib, Pauree 21). We allow the Love within us to heal it. To shift it. To re-align those neuro-patterns. And in this way, we learn to consciously rise above the challenges and the karmas, and let our originality prevail. There’s grace there. Forgiveness. Peace. Whatever you want to call it. But technically, it is a process through which our breath and our inner being create the biochemical medicine that washes away the damage and pain to the nervous system caused by the normal wear and tear of earthly life.

This is one thing that the Guru has helped me understand more and more the older I get. I used to have a fantasy that somehow, someday, there would come a moment when the pain would never happen again. Or the poisons would be totally gone. But I realize what a joke that is. Life is experience. And experience has everything in it. Good and bad. Grace and insult. Victory and falling on your butt. There’s no one side for the pendulum to swing without it eventually swinging to the other side. Experience is all that we have – and experience includes everything. The day the poisons go away is the day that the body dies.

But what is possible is to develop some kind of discipline. In the Amrit Veyla, in the still hours before sunrise, to consciously face ourselves, our own memory, our own assessment of how we have lived in the last 24 hours or 24 lifetimes. It’s not pleasant. It’s not fun. We get to see how ugly we are, how mean, how petty, unpleasant and damaged. But at least we have a chance to say – here is the garbage of my own mind. Let me take out the trash so that what is pure in me, Divine in me, true in me has a chance to prevail. By God’s grace, let me face my tomorrow with a clean slate.

That is meditation. It’s hard work. But those who do the work, whose Light within shines, the Guru tells us their presence becomes a power to serve and elevate others.

There is so much trash in the world. Under the trees. On the sides of the streets. In the rivers and streams. And we turn a blind eye to it, we pretend not to see it – because what is to be done? But there is so much garbage, inside, as well. And that, at least, we have a chance to heal. We have a chance.

May you be blessed to find the dirt within you, and use the tools that the Guru has given, to clear it out, clean it up and give yourself a chance to live a new tomorrow.

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh

With Divine Light and Love,

Ek Ong Kaar Kaur

Japji Sahib Weekend Intensive: Crestone, Colorado

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

Sat Nam and many blessings to you.

For those of you have are curious and interested, the Crestone Healing Arts Center in Crestone, CO will be hosting a Japji Sahib intensive weekend May 9-11.

Details are:

$108 for the course. Lunch and snacks will be provided. For those who need it, lodging is available at the Center for $25 a night. Dates and times are

• Friday May 9, 2008 (7:00 pm to 9:00 pm
• Saturday May 10, 2008 (9:00 am to 4:30 pm)
• Sunday May 11, 2008 (9:00 am to Noon)

Pre-register with Sue or Dan Retuta by calling 719.256.4036 or via Email at
retuta@crestonehac.com.

We had a great time in New York City and in Millis, MA. Hope to post pictures of those courses soon. Come if you can make it. It will be a wonderful time - to just be together, meditate and do our best to understand the practical wisdom of Guru Nanak.

Hoping to see you there.

With Divine Light and many blessings,

Ek Ong Kaar Kaur

The Pull of Karma

In my meditation this morning, I had a chance to see something about karma. One could say that after experimenting with a lot of different types of spiritual practices over the years, I never really understood karma until this morning. Though God knows, in theory, all of the different practices, with different teachers and different perspectives that I used to explore were aimed at one thing: to clear my karma.

But what does that mean, exactly? To clear one’s karma?

When I was younger, karma was the Eastern equivalent to the good/bad sin/redemption polarity I had grown up with. Only karma gave you a lot of lifetimes to work it out. There was a sense of something being “right” and something being “wrong.” And the consequences of doing the wrong thing or the benefits of doing the right thing – that was karma. In my mind’s eye, those definitions of “right” and “wrong” were written on a wall somewhere in heaven. If I could just memorize the list and put as many stars in the “right” column as possible, then God would love me and I would be protected and taken care of somehow.

What I saw in my meditation this morning was very different but deeply moving. Yogi Bhajan talks about the “you within you.” And the more I meditate on Gurbani and try my inadequate best to translate into English, I’ve found that “Naam” is really the experience of the You within you. The Divine Identity that lives within the heart. The Soul-Being that has come and gone through so many cycles of birth and death. And that the Naam and the mind are very different experiences within oneself. The mind has a pull. It pulls the being this way and that way – with its thoughts and desires, dreams and hopes, fears and fantasies. But the mind is not who we are. It’s a temporary identity gives to us in time and space. For this lifetime, for whatever brief purpose the Inner Being has come to the earth for.

But that Inner Being, that Divine Identity, that Naam, that You within you – has its own purpose. Its own reality and destination. And karma isn’t when you break a rule of what’s right and wrong written in some seventh heaven somewhere. Karma is inside of us, in the here and now. It’s a simple issue. The breath of life has been given to each of us as a gift. With this breath – are we delivering what the Inner Being has comes here to experience? Or not?

Gurbani talks about how the hand of the One guides everything. So how can we call anyone good or bad? When we get caught up in the judgements we might have with each other, we loose sight of our own inner judgment. It doesn’t matter what another person does. We have no control over each other, really. We can attempt to manipulate and influence. Cajole or threaten. But there’s no guarantee it’s going to work. Every human being is absolutely sovereign ultimately. And it’s a waste of breath to judge or control – though God knows it’s a very powerful habit that we can sometimes get into with each other.

But with every breath, through a meditative mind cultivated by the Guru’s words, we can judge ourselves. Am I living this moment in alignment with my spiritual Identity? Am I acting in this moment in a way that reflects the reality of my own dignity and Divinity? Am I applying the gifts of my body and the talents of my mind to deliver the journey that my soul took birth to take? Am I remembering that Deathless Light within myself? Or am I forgetting?

This is karma from what I have seen and experienced today. Those breaths, those moments, when we forget our Inner Divinity, our Inner Being and Light. And we let the pull of desire take us away from doing those things that the Spirit came here for. It’s hard because as a child, I never learned that God lives in me. Much less that the purpose of human life was to experience that. I was taught a lot of other nonsense that has never served me. It just created a lot of confusion. But when through the Guru’s teachings, we can find and touch the Naam within us – and we can know – hey – this is who I really am – then karma is simply the account we keep inside of us of when we have lived according to our Inner Divinity, or when we have betrayed ourselves -when we have betrayed our own Inner Truth. And in the name of balancing that account, we come back again and again.

I don’t have any conclusions to offer here. But what I am grateful for is to see today that this whole karma business – this whole business of coming and going – it’s between Me and me. Its between the Divine Identity that has existed since beginingless time and will continue unto Infinity – and the temporary “me” – this body, this mind that definitely had a beginning and will definitely have an end. The karma is whether or not I am capable of keeping my agreements with my Innermost Self – or whether I turn my back on that and get lost in the games of Maya. Its OK – karma happens. But I am grateful to see that its contained within me, and to know that the Guru promises that by meditating on Gurbani the balance between the mind and the Naam can happen. Everything can be put back into proper balance. And in that way, the karmas of lifetimes can fall away and the cycle of betraying my own Self can end.

May you be blessed to find the Light of the Divine within you, and to share that Light wherever you go.

Happy Valentines’ Day

All Love in the Divine,

Ek Ong Kaar Kaur